[ wonder and awe grip her with equal measures of fear. uncertainty. everything she learns puts a new feather in her cap -- a new scrap of trivial knowledge. ]
It must hurt. To be needled. [ she has eaten her two token dates and now retires to sit comfortably in the chair. ]
Would you say the hurt is more or less than -- say -- needle-needles? Because I've pricked my thumbs a hundred times embroidering. [ this is a shameful confession, to be certain. ] I used to. Such slips are rare, now.
Depends. The fingers are generally more sensitive because they have more nerve endings in them, but needles for shots usually go in deeper than just enough to draw blood. I guess it's up to your pain tolerance.
[ lies. or truths. sansa has learned how to take a blow, but taking them has made her less and less tolerant of the pain each time. but alayne must be a wide-eyed girl, easily frightened of a little jab. ] And so I give thanks to the Gods that we have no such hollow needles in Westeros. Or else I would fear them too.
How cruel you are to your fellow man! [ a slight laugh. her face possesses some vestige of playfulness. ] I believe some of you are quite brave. Only a very many are craven.
[His hands spread wide in innocence as he grinned at her.]
We can be brave, no lie there. But we're still wusses when it comes to pain. Especially, ah, that kind of pain. It's for the best of the species that women deal with everything they do and I respect and admire them for having to go through any of that.
['Any of that' being the whole kit and caboodle; menstruation, childbirth, menopause, putting up with guys...]
[ he speaks in ways near foreign to her. no. not foreign. stiles's respect and dare-she-think-it honour reminds her of the tenets taught by her father to her siblings. fair shakes and understanding for others. ]
What a fine husband you will be. [ ... ] Some lady of your lands will be very fortunate.
[ she cannot help but think in such narrow parameters. not after she has herself been so unfortunate in matrimonial matters. ]
What? Yeah, of co-- oh. Ah. Yeah, okay, well, see, there's friends, which we are, and then there's girlfriend/boyfriend friends, which are like... a couple. They're people that are dating because they like each other. It's sort of a pre-engagement/marriage step. To make sure you actually want to be with this person for a long time. So, like, I'm your guy friend, but I'm not your boyfriend.
[ though sansa has been betrothed more than twice, now, with very little courtship involved. she yearns for it, perhaps. in some quiet part of her soul not yet wrecked and tarnished. ] You're speaking of courtship.
Um, I guess so, yeah. I mean, not everyone starts dating with the intention of winding up married. You date a girl for a year or two or three and if it looks like she might put up with you? You get married. Maybe. Not always. It's... complicated.
[ not so complicated, she thinks -- having lived it: the grace found in rejection and the dismay in marriage. her lips make for a tight line and she nods. ]
Three years is an awfully long time to press a suit. [ never she mind that the very notion of 'dating' without the clear intention for marriage is an entirely different kettle of fish. ] How awful for the lady should she wait three years and be set aside.
[ or how fortunate. sansa remembers how her cheeks hurt from trying not to smile on the morning joffrey had set her aside for another. ]
For the la-- Hah. You realize that most of the time it's the girls dumping the guys, right? No, I guess you wouldn't. Girls generally have a lot more... control in my time. Control and power and dominance.
[He was getting to understand that it might be hard for Sansa to really picture this.]
It's... no one makes someone go into a courtship or marriage or anything. Well, they're not supposed to. Two people meet and if they like each other, they start dating. Sometimes it doesn't work out and they can part ways nicely or not very nicely, but sometimes it does and they get married. Even then, though, it doesn't always last. There's a lot of divorces. Some people just aren't made to be monogamous.
... No? There might be some traditional families that think girls should only date in their, ah, culture, but no, parents don't get to dictate who you date.
[ she pieces together the patchwork of her lessons: ] And that is because there are fewer titles. Fewer great houses. The calibre of the match means less...
The matches are about finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, not furthering your business or social advances. You marry someone you love.
[Well, that's how it should be. It wasn't always how it was. Some married because they got pregnant, others married for money... but the gist behind it was that marriages should be for affection, not gain.]
And if it doesn't work out? You get a divorce and find someone else.
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I'd say it's a coin toss. Some people are afraid of them, so it's not like it's unheard of or anything, but a lot of people aren't.
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It must hurt. To be needled. [ she has eaten her two token dates and now retires to sit comfortably in the chair. ]
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[Hey, he'd only passed out once, and that was under extenuating circumstances.]
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[ a point of pride to contrast her past folly. ]
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[ lies. or truths. sansa has learned how to take a blow, but taking them has made her less and less tolerant of the pain each time. but alayne must be a wide-eyed girl, easily frightened of a little jab. ] And so I give thanks to the Gods that we have no such hollow needles in Westeros. Or else I would fear them too.
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I'm sure you'd be able to handle it better than me. Girls have a higher pain threshold than boys anyway.
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[His hands spread wide in innocence as he grinned at her.]
We can be brave, no lie there. But we're still wusses when it comes to pain. Especially, ah, that kind of pain. It's for the best of the species that women deal with everything they do and I respect and admire them for having to go through any of that.
['Any of that' being the whole kit and caboodle; menstruation, childbirth, menopause, putting up with guys...]
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What a fine husband you will be. [ ... ] Some lady of your lands will be very fortunate.
[ she cannot help but think in such narrow parameters. not after she has herself been so unfortunate in matrimonial matters. ]
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[That was a compliment, right?]
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[ sorry, stiles. she's having a hard time unpacking the word boyfriend. ]
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[ though sansa has been betrothed more than twice, now, with very little courtship involved. she yearns for it, perhaps. in some quiet part of her soul not yet wrecked and tarnished. ] You're speaking of courtship.
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Three years is an awfully long time to press a suit. [ never she mind that the very notion of 'dating' without the clear intention for marriage is an entirely different kettle of fish. ] How awful for the lady should she wait three years and be set aside.
[ or how fortunate. sansa remembers how her cheeks hurt from trying not to smile on the morning joffrey had set her aside for another. ]
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[He was getting to understand that it might be hard for Sansa to really picture this.]
It's... no one makes someone go into a courtship or marriage or anything. Well, they're not supposed to. Two people meet and if they like each other, they start dating. Sometimes it doesn't work out and they can part ways nicely or not very nicely, but sometimes it does and they get married. Even then, though, it doesn't always last. There's a lot of divorces. Some people just aren't made to be monogamous.
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[Well, that's how it should be. It wasn't always how it was. Some married because they got pregnant, others married for money... but the gist behind it was that marriages should be for affection, not gain.]
And if it doesn't work out? You get a divorce and find someone else.
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[ to her credit, she manages to not sound too interested in the topic. indeed, she nearly feigns boredom. ]
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