You wouldn't. [He still inches back a hair though so he'll have a slightly better chance of blocking just in case.] And I won't have kids, I've already told you. [VOWS, STILES. VOWS.]
You'd be pretty surprised at what can change in five years. Or ten. Or whatever.
[He grins, then holds both hands up. No, Jon, he wouldn't. As a bearer of a penis, he knew just how much that hurt so no, no dick-whacking today. TODAY. God, you better hope he never gets turned into a girl]
Yeah, well... it happens. And that's what I'm trying to explain. Shit like that happens, Jon. You can sit here and say 'no never uhn uhn, not even if you set me on fire', but you have no idea what your life is going to be like in five or ten years.
And what about here, huh? We have no idea how long we're stuck here. I've already made a pretty compelling argument that it doesn't count here, so... what then? What if some pretty little Jon-candy comes around and waggles her pretty little Jon-candy butt in your face?
[Jon-candy??? Jon gives him a look that screams Stiles no.]
I'm done with girls, Stiles. I don't care how many years I'm in this place. And I won't father bastards. [Which is basically what it boils down to in the end.]
You are so hung up on that. Half the people where I come from are bastards and there's nothing wrong with that. Perception, Jon. It's about figuring out what's actually important.
[Just wait until one of two people wind up here, Jon. See how well you avoid them.]
Your world's mad, that's not my fault. [Wildlings didn't care about bastards either, that's half of what makes them all crazy! Don't question Jon and his Stockholm Syndrome.]
[He shook his head and knocked his shoulder against Jon's as he went to find a cup. He had something to drink around here somewhere, didn't he?]
Hey, we're messed up, don't get me wrong. But I think letting go of a lot of our intolerances is probably one of the better things we've done. I think I have a half a bottle of wine around here. You want some?
[Because Stiles wasn't drinking any. This wasn't get shitfaced time. This was get Jon buzzed because it's funny time. He found the bottle, pulling it out and blowing into the cup to make sure it was clean. Clean enough. Then he poured one for Jon.]
Here. You know, you really need to learn to loosen up, buddy.
[Jon gives him a prim little look.] It'll take more wine than you've got for that. [But boys do always have an overconfident estimation of their alcohol tolerance.] And anyhow, I don't need to loosen up.
Right. And I'm the king of the castle. Look, your pup's all better. There's no one trying to kill us. The castle's not being invaded. Take a load off. Sit your ass down and just... chill.
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[Snigger. Was he sniggering? He was totally sniggering.]
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It would be sweet if it was only a poorly told joke that could do that.
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Hey, words can hurt, bro. You just need to know the right ones.
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Aye, but if they're too right, they're like to get you killed. Men can be touchy about such things.
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Men are touchy about everything. We just pretend we're not. We're terrible liars.
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Or make sure you don't ever have kids. Ever.
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[He grins, then holds both hands up. No, Jon, he wouldn't. As a bearer of a penis, he knew just how much that hurt so no, no dick-whacking today. TODAY.
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[He was expecting a no, but some niggling little voice thought he might get it.]
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... Once.
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Sorry.
[Nope. No heckling from the peanut gallery over this.]
Is that when you... ah...
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And what about here, huh? We have no idea how long we're stuck here. I've already made a pretty compelling argument that it doesn't count here, so... what then? What if some pretty little Jon-candy comes around and waggles her pretty little Jon-candy butt in your face?
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I'm done with girls, Stiles. I don't care how many years I'm in this place. And I won't father bastards. [Which is basically what it boils down to in the end.]
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[Just wait until one of two people wind up here, Jon. See how well you avoid them.]
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Hey, we're messed up, don't get me wrong. But I think letting go of a lot of our intolerances is probably one of the better things we've done. I think I have a half a bottle of wine around here. You want some?
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Aye, I'll take some. [Half a bottle so isn't going to be enough.]
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Good.
[Because Stiles wasn't drinking any. This wasn't get shitfaced time. This was get Jon buzzed because it's funny time. He found the bottle, pulling it out and blowing into the cup to make sure it was clean. Clean enough. Then he poured one for Jon.]
Here. You know, you really need to learn to loosen up, buddy.
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Uh huh. Right. Because you're so relaxed right now. C'mon, buddy. Here.
[He handed him the cup, that expression of worldly knowledge deep in his eyes.]
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